How many times in a day do you feel sad or hear about sadness in the world
around you? Lately it seems every time I pick up the newspaper, turn on the
television, or speak to a friend, I hear about some issue that is creating
enormous stress in one’s life. Many have lost theirs jobs, lost loved ones, have health issues or just find life overwhelming. Sounds depressing, yes? It
doesn’t have to be!
A quote comes to mind:
“There are only three things in life that are real: God, Human Folly and
Laughter. In that the first two are beyond our comprehension, we must do what
we can with the third.” JFK
Think back on witnessing a toddler running and laughing. What comes to
mind?? Happiness!
The healing power of laughter is so incredibly commanding not just for
the toddler but for children of all ages, which includes you. The energy
laughter generates moves us into a positive state. Sometimes it is momentary,
other times sustaining. We all want to be “happy” in life; we all want to
experience good health, joy and harmony for ourselves and the ones we love. Our
bodies and mind have a predisposition toward health and energy. Studies have
shown how laughter affects the human physiology. It has been shown to reduce
pain, strengthen immune function, decrease stress, and help put life’s “trials
and tribulations into a healthy perspective by making them seem smaller”. So
many of us take ourselves much too seriously. Laughter has a positive impact on
lightening us up.
I tried an experiment last week with powerful results. I contracted with
myself for a week that regardless of what the day held, I would have the
intention to create humor/laughter at least once a day for myself or someone else. It was a fun exercise. I found my laughter to be
contagious. It it not only helped be but those I came in contact with. After returning from a busy day instead of watching my usual news programs, I intentionally tuned
to Comedy Central, or watched an old clip of I Love Lucy. Does anyone remember that show? If so you can guess what era I'm from. As I watched these programs,
I felt myself smiling. It wasn’t an outburst of laughter but a quiet amusement.
I actually could feel my body start to relax. Unfortunately, I was enjoying myself so much, dinner ended up on the table about 1 hour later than normal.. Oh, well,.. you can't sweat the small stuff. The choices I made that
week to create and generate laughter , energized me to perform
better. It put the small issues and even the big ones in better perspective. I actually slept better that week than I had in a long time..
So tomorrow, if you are feeling overly serious or a heaviness in your
relationships, job, or health status, be mindful to create laughter for
yourself or some else. So lighten up and have some fun!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Change Your Beliefs to Change Your Life
As a coach, I obviously see many people wanting to make changes in their life. Most know they want to make changes but aren't sure how to. I hope this article gives
you some insight and provides a baseline where to start.
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, not yours. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. It will be different when you are in transition. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
I always tell my clients that everything we do is based on agreements we make with ourselves, so
when you want to make changes, you need to make new agreements. Not so easy, right? When we attempt to design a career or create a new path in life, many of
us are not comfortable stepping out of our customary boundaries. Our minds and
hearts are often set to “comfort.” We want to avoid risks or think that we
aren’t qualified for that new dream. Changing your mindset, and committing to a
new way of thinking can help you get the results you want. This is what I help my clients manifest.
In his book, The Four Agreements,
Don Miguel Ruiz suggests four ways to liberate us from the fear and the
illusions that create a belief system that can hold us back from going after
what we truly want.
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, not yours. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. It will be different when you are in transition. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
After reading Don Miguel’s wisdom,
my eyes were opened to the realization that I am the only one in control of my
thought patterns. I realized that I can shift my mindset from the assumptions
that have produced self-doubt to assumptions that support trying something new.
Once this realization was made, I was able to shift my paradigm from a
fear-based “what if” scenario to understanding the agreements I create with
myself will influence my present and future.
For most of us, we have had habits
in place for a very long time. We have learned behaviors that date back to
childhood. Our parents rewarded us when we did what they wanted and they
reprimanded us when we didn’t. The opinions of others, and their reactions to
us, became a very strong force in the patterns we formed. Through this process,
we created agreements in our minds of who we should be or who we shouldn’t be.
Over time we learned to live according to the agreements of others.
If you decide to make changes in
your life, you will be challenging the beliefs learned and the habits practiced
since childhood. It seems daunting!! But you can change these patterns.
When you have the intention to
practice making agreements with yourself, you can rapidly transition your life
by experiencing the freedom to make choices that honor your values. I am a realist and
recognize challenging old fear-based beliefs can be difficult. It
takes time and commitment to break free of the fear, inner judgment, and old
emotional thought patterns, but this is a minor concern when you realize the
long- term strategy of creating fulfillment and satisfaction for your life.
Life is short. Why not make it the best you can??
There is almost no limit to what you
can accomplish when you are willing to make an agreement to yourself to step
outside of your “box.” Get clear as to what you want. Make a commitment to
honor your agreement and go for it.
The Best Way to predict the future
is to invent it. –
Alan Kay
Monday, December 17, 2012
Do you often doubt yourself? How many times have you said to yourself, “I can’t wear that
outfit because I’m not thin enough or I couldn’t get the job because I’m sure
someone better than me will get it”.
Negative thoughts like these can hold us back from achieving true
self-confidence and fulfillment. Many of us love art, and music, but what about
ourselves? If someone asks you to name 8 things you like about yourself, you
might have a hard time doing so. However, at the same time, if you were asked
the same question about someone you admire, you would probably rattle them off.
Check
out a few tips, which you can use to start you in the right direction to make
yourself better.
- Begin the day well: Start your day off with gratitude. Wake up and think of 3 things you are grateful for that day. Perhaps it is your health, family or something simple like a beautiful day.
- Wake up early: Do something constructive such as walking, jogging or meditation before leaving for work or school. This jump starts your energy.
- Have a positive attitude: Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting. If you start thinking positively you will start seeing positive outcomes for your life. Instead of cursing or blaming others because they have something you don’t, be happy for them. As my mother always said “there will always be someone who has more than you and someone who has less”. Appreciation for the small things goes a long way.
- Surround yourself with positive people: The company we keep plays a key role in our thoughts. If you are often in the company of negative people who are always complaining or criticizing, the odds are you will become like them. On the flip side, notice how you feel when you are around genuinely positive people. It can be contagious. Watch your company at all times!
- Set goals: What do you want to achieve in order to improve yourself? Set realistic goals. Set a long-term goal and short-term goal simultaneously. Long-term goals can appear daunting. Start small. For instance, if you want to increase your financial status for the long term, perhaps start with setting a short-term goal of career exploration and networking with people familiar with an industry you are interested in.
- Learn from the past: There is no better way to improve yourself than by learning from past mistakes. All of your past experiences are teaching moments. A person who does NOT let her past experience discourage her has a better chance of improving than the one who holds on to the past .You have to make the a decision that you want to change and work towards becoming the person you want to be.
- Overcome your fears: The worst thing you can do to yourself is not try something because you are afraid. This is incredibly common for many people. Believe me, it is true that overcoming your fears sets a platform for success. Once you let go of the fear, there will be no stopping you.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
How to Improve Your Self Image
Click on this link to read my post for Elizabeth Hall Style on “How to improve your Self Image.”
It highlights seven quick ways to feel great about yourself!Friday, May 28, 2010
New Beginnings
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